Arthur Labinjo-Hughes

[Kwacky]

The more I hear about his tragic life the more upset I get.

Even in death there's no peace. Despite having been murdered over a year ago his family are arguing over who has the rights to his body. So he's not had a funeral yet

There's videos of him, asking why no one loves him.



https://www.theguardian.com/society/202 ... ded-in-his" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[duke63]

An appalling indictment of failures on so many levels in our modern society.

[duke63]

I will never forget when I was chwir of governors at my sons school and we had what the Headteacher considered a child safety issue but when consulting social services, they decided it was just a problem they saw on a day to day basis and didn't consider it needed special attention.

[StMarks]

..... when consulting social services, they decided it was just a problem they saw on a day to day basis and didn't consider it needed special attention.

Sadly there seems increasing normalisation of what most of us would consider abhorrent, amongst many who have to deal with it professionally.

[Cav]

It sounds harsh but I have to ignore it or I'd get too angry and upset and I wouldn't know how to deal with it. I didn't understand how people did that before I had my Son, but now I have him it physically pains me to hear of these stories.

A distant family member fairly recently got rehomed with her biological father. He and his mother then inflicted years of torture and abuse on this girl. She has somehow survived despite having the imprint of a belt buckle in her skull. I met her a few years ago and said to my Wife, there's something off with this girl, I think she's depressed. I managed to gain her trust to go down some slides with her on my lap in the soft play. It wasn't for another year after this that everything that happened to her went through the courts and jail time was served to 3 people.

I'll say it again, I don't understand how people can do this to their children.

[Jack]

I don't understand how people can be that way towards another human being let alone a child .

[Cav]

I don't understand how people can be that way towards another human being let alone a child .

Oh I can.. I would LOVE to make these people suffer the same fate as the children they've hurt. These stains on humanity are not people, they don't deserve to live without fear.

[StMarks]

I don't understand how people can be that way towards another human being let alone a child .

Oh I can.. I would LOVE to make these people suffer the same fate as the children they've hurt. These stains on humanity are not people, they don't deserve to live without fear.

Complicating matters somewhat, is that pretty much all offenders are grown up survivors of childhood abuse.

Perversely there is still no qualification or training required to have children, yet parenting must be the most complicated and responsible role a person performs. Challenging enough for someone like you with your positive attitude, intelligence, stability & commitment, to the average self-obsessed (and often resenting) **** the task is literally beyond them.

[Cav]

Thank you for your kind words mate! I agree with you though, the task is too much for a lot of people.

Maybe this is a huge over-simplification but I had a bad upbringing including being used as a weapon from both parents, to both parents and I've been damaged by that in a variety of ways. I use the bad memories and experiences to better myself. If someone suffers abuse and then feels okay with inflicting the same abuse on others, in my eyes, that makes them just as bad as the people whom first did it to them. It doesn't give them a free pass to harm and scar others.

Probably a huge over simplification as I say, I for one know how complex more minor abuse is so I can't fully comprehend the extremely severe stuff.

[Cav]

P.s. I'm not comparing my childhood with the likes of the girl I mentioned and Arthur.. I need to make the extremely clear!

[StMarks]

Thank you for your kind words mate! I agree with you though, the task is too much for a lot of people.

Maybe this is a huge over-simplification but I had a bad upbringing including being used as a weapon from both parents, to both parents and I've been damaged by that in a variety of ways. I use the bad memories and experiences to better myself. If someone suffers abuse and then feels okay with inflicting the same abuse on others, in my eyes, that makes them just as bad as the people whom first did it to them. It doesn't give them a free pass to harm and scar others.

Probably a huge over simplification as I say, I for one know how complex more minor abuse is so I can't fully comprehend the extremely severe stuff.

To be clear mate, I was NOT in any way mitigating their sort of conduct (although they, or their advocates, do generally attempt to excuse them in that way) and you are a prime example that, thankfully, not all victims become abusers. Nonetheless the fact remains that nearly all abusers have been victims.
Another "self fulfilling prophecy".?

[Cav]

Sorry if I came across as accusing you of that because I didn't think it once.

It's sad that it happens like that but I still stand with my original point of all abusers being severely punished with their own treatment

[duke63]

Sorry if I came across as accusing you of that because I didn't think it once.

It's sad that it happens like that but I still stand with my original point of all abusers being severely punished with their own treatment

It wouldn’t work, Cav because in many cases they don’t even think or know they are doing anything wrong.

I see a senior figure today has said that in all areas social services can now only deal with crisis management rather than preventative work as local authorities have had so much cash taken away from them by the Tory governments of the last decade.

[D41]

It wouldn’t work, Cav because in many cases they don’t even think or know they are doing anything wrong.

....I'm sure it varies to differing extents dependent on the individual.... and I imagine that in many instances it happens not because the abuser "wants" to do it as such, rather than they "have to".... that there's some element of compulsive behaviour involved - I would guess a high degree of it.

[StMarks]

Sorry if I came across as accusing you of that because I didn't think it once.

It's sad that it happens like that but I still stand with my original point of all abusers being severely punished with their own treatment

No need for an apology Cav. Fwiw I didn't think for one moment that of you.
If there is any apology it should be from me for inferring anything derisory towards you. - I wouldn't expect to need to, as it seems to me that you have more than enough integrity to realise that nothing I wrote was intended as such.
On a basic level, the idea of "proportionate retribution" has considerable appeal to me too mate. Unfortunately I have no confidence in the effectiveness of that approach, other than the ( often hollow ) satisfaction derived from revenge.?

[Cav]

Unfortunately I have no confidence in the effectiveness of that approach, other than the ( often hollow ) satisfaction derived from revenge.?

I feel the same. It would just be satisfying to know they felt the pain they've inflicted on others before they die.

[Jack]

Vengeance is not Justice .
If you feel capable of inflicting that pain or asking/requiring someone else to inflict that pain on another human are you any better than them ?

[D41]

Yes, because the motive behind the action is entirely different and to some debatable extent, justified.

....An eye for an eye, etc.

[Cav]

Vengeance is not Justice .
If you feel capable of inflicting that pain or asking/requiring someone else to inflict that pain on another human are you any better than them ?

I never mentioned justice but to you second point, maybe not. Does that also mean that a soldier is as bad as a murderer?

[Jack]

In my opinion if you can condone or are capable of torturing another human to death then you are a monster regardless of your motive .
As for soldiers they are in a kill or be killed situation so a case could be made for self-defense and generally speaking they are put into that situation by the actions of politicians so who is the guilty party ?