The CPS, you gotta love em....

[Stew]

A few weeks ago my daughter was assaulted by her boyfriend and spent nearly a week in hospital with suspected kidney/spleen damage, thankfully she's ok, however she retracted her statement and went back to him which as you can imagine has made me and her mum wonder just whats going through her mind, two weeks ago we were notified by the police that he was to be up in court because they found a samurai sword at his house which he intended to use to torture me, the wife and my other daughter with, oh yeah and the dog too, but the CPS decided to drop the charges and today we found out that they are not persuing him for his latest assault on my daughter despite him admitting to 5 previous assaults against her plus photgraphic evidence and witness's saying exactly what happened, but you go out on your bike and break the speed limit and they'll thrown the **** book at you, the day it happened I threathend him in front of the police and told he was a **** dead man, makes you wonder why you bother sticking to the law, its not on our side..........

[bb41]

Stew , I sympathise. Had similar with my own daughter but injuries not that severe. She always went back as well.

In the end I left them to get on with it as there was not much else I could of done. Eventually she left him and now regrets some of her decisions during that time.

Can you not get a court injunction against him so that he doesn't come near you and yours?

I know it's not what you want but at least you are having some control of the situation.

[duke63]

Police are only interested in speeding road users and insults on facebook these days it seems.

[Kwacky]

Right, here goes, this isn't something I've really told people but now seems the time.

My parents got divorced when I was 17. We were living in a pub at the time. My mum struck up a relationship with someone who used to come in. He was younger and he liked his beer.

Aafter a while he moved in. It was clear to me and my brother this bloke was taking the piss. He was spending his money on beer and when he was drunk he was a handful.

He had lashed out a couple of times in the house but only at objects. The writing was on the wall.

I had heard a couple of arguments late at night. I tried to have a chat with my mum but what did I know, I was only a kid. Besides, he really loved her so it was alright.

Then the hitting started. This was just before they got married. I questioned what was going through her mind but already this strong woman was in full victim mode, blaming herself for what was going on. I had no one to talk to to express my concerns about him.

I refused to go to the wedding. I wanted no part in it. That caused real problems. I made it clear I didn't like him and didn't trust him but his feet were under the table.

One evening I came home and went to my room. I heard what sounded like a fight in the pub, so I rushed downstairs. As I was coming down the stairs I saw this guy beating my mum up. Not a slap, not a kick, but a full on beating. As I got to him he had knocked her down to the floor and was trying to strangle her. I tried to get him off but this bloke was incredibly strong. Coupled with the rage he was having he wasn't budging. I ran into the pub and got some customers to help. It took 4 of us to get him off my mum.

She was rushed to hospital. He was charged with Section 18 wounding with intent.

My mum told customers she fell down the stairs, yeah, that old chestnut. I told everyone the truth. I wanted him alienated.

After a couple of weeks I came home to find him sitting in the living room. He was sorry, it wasn't going to happen again, he had given up drinking etc etc. Mum had dropped the charges, the police couldn't take it any further.

It didn't take long before it flared up again.

A lot of stuff happened, some of which I got involved in. I'm not proud of it now but it got the result I wanted. He took his own life. If he hadn't I'm convinced he would have killed my mother.

I don't think we can understand what goes on in a victims head but they do convince themselves it's all their fault.

[Stew]

Kwacky, that was a tough post to put up mate, it seems there must be a pattern in these situations, my daughters bloke tried suicide as well, she was put in a gynae ward for some reason and he was in another ward not far away, they had to keep the woman's ward locked for their security, leading up to this my wife spoke to her everyday but now although we're both there for and always will be its definitely damaged our relationship, she's back with him now and its only a matter of time before it happens again, she's told the council she is homeless and that we threw her out, not true btw, in fact we had just decorated her room in the weeks leading up to the assault so she had somewhere to come too in case it happened again, she's an adult now at 19 and can make her own decisions I guess its just a matter of time before it happens again though.

[Blade]

Don't know what to say Stew apart from hope it gets better soon mate or your daughter ends the relationship of her own accord which might be the only way for it all to stop and free herself of this bully boy idiot.

[Stew]

Don't know what to say Stew apart from hope it gets better soon mate or your daughter ends the relationship of her own accord which might be the only way for it all to stop and free herself of this bully boy idiot.

She loves him, and for whatever reason she wants to stick with him, its beyond me, it really is

[Stew]

Stew , I sympathise. Had similar with my own daughter but injuries not that severe. She always went back as well.

In the end I left them to get on with it as there was not much else I could of done. Eventually she left him and now regrets some of her decisions during that time.

Can you not get a court injunction against him so that he doesn't come near you and yours?

I know it's not what you want but at least you are having some control of the situation.

Part of his bail conditions were that he wasnt to go near anyone in the family including my daughter for fear of being re arrested, but she went back to him and dropped all charges and the CPS dont want to know, he wont come near me or the family though

[Perkles]

I feel for you mate,going round and giving him a good hiding would make you feel good but only make mattters worse.It sounds like you have to ride the storm and let your daughter come to her own senses at some point

[rocket]

Wow never been in that situation and never want to be it must be really tough I really hope things get better and work out.

[Stew]

I feel for you mate,going round and giving him a good hiding would make you feel good but only make mattters worse.It sounds like you have to ride the storm and let your daughter come to her own senses at some point

You know something ? if I went round and sorted him out it'd be the CPS would come after........

[duke63]

What appalling situations for Kwacky and Stew to be in.

I don't pretend to know how you feel but surely the police and CPS have a duty to protect people from violence reagrdless of whether they are prepared to go to court over it?

My wife used to be secretary to Justices Clerk and i know from chatting to him about this that he took domestic violence very seriously and i suspect was not too popular with the local police or CPS as his attitude towards it was a lot lot tougher than theirs was.

[Perkles]

I was in an abusive relationship for about 8 years,my x used to kick and punch me ,hit me with things around the house etc I had black eyes bruises everywhere but couldnt pluck up the courage to leave her ,yes it was a woman doing it.When an abusive partner cries suicide etc it pulls you from limb to limb so I can understand why people stay with abusers for all the wrong reasons.
You just have to stand by her Stew until things work out for the best

[duke63]

Blimey Perkles that is horrible.

Why are there so many people who think that violence is the right way to treat someone they love?

I do not understand why there are no lessons taught on bringing up our offspring as i suspect that this is at the route of the problem for many.

[StMarks]

I thought that a recent change in policy meant that the CPS were now far more inclined to pursue a conviction in cases of domestic violence.?
http://www.cps.gov.uk/publications/pros ... dance.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Stew]

I thought that a recent change in policy meant that the CPS were now far more inclined to pursue a conviction in cases of domestic violence.?
http://www.cps.gov.uk/publications/pros ... dance.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Thats what the police told us, he's been inside for all sorts of stuff incl assault and one or two there things too, we had no idea, we knew he was no angel but had no idea what he was really like, maybe its more cost effective to wait until the crime is serious to warrant court time, I'm beginning to give up with this country

[Monty]

I admire your restraint Stew, best thing you can do is be your daughters best mate and not become the enemy. Easier said than done admittedly, but it sounds like you're on the right track. Keep ya pecker up!

[Deegee]

I can't begin to understand the thought processes on either side of domestic violence, so I'll just say that I hope your daughter comes to understand her situation properly before any more harm befalls her Stew. Fingers crossed for you and yours.

[Binno]

dig a big hole. hit him about the head with a bat, then throw him in it. Tell the daughter he moved to margate.

im afraid if someone threatened mine, and i believed they had intention to do it, then id have to resolve the issue and take any fallout from it.

i know that sounds like nonsense bravado and pub talk, but everyones different.

[Stew]

Problem is, if I decided to give him a good hiding I'd be the one going down, I'm confident I can protect my family if the need arises and he knows that, I'm not happy about the situation but theres only so much I can do, just feel utterly let down by the CPS