Tank Slap - Motorcycle Forum

Aston Villa

Theres been a fire at Villa Park.

Dean Smith shouted 'save the cups'

The fire brigade ran to the canteen.

My wife once asked me if I'd ever had sex with a fat woman.

She said it with a straight face too...

My daughter ran into the living room and said "Daddy! Mommy is limp and lifeless in the bedroom!!!"

I said "Don't I know it".

The day my son told me he was gay I turned my back on him.

That was my first mistake.

A Winchester woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?'
She replied, 'I'm late for work.'
'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
'I'm a Rectum Stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, 'A what?............
'A Rectum Stretcher!'
'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet'
'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot arsehole?' he asked
'You give him a radar gun & park him behind a bridge..

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Not quite a joke as it’s a real add but still rather funny

[video]https://youtu.be/RfPNa7q4T2U[/video]