I promise you will not be disappointed if you make it to the end. Don't just read the photos. Ready the copy below;
"Just had conversation with a British couple who have a holiday home near us. They voted for Brexit and have made no arrangements whatsoever for what happens on Jan 1. They have now discovered the reality of their situation.
The blame apparently is with "Brussels".
Quick follow up to this:
They have always assumed I am British and only recently discovered I have dual nationality. When I told them and revealed all my EU rights were protected I was told that was,
"very unfair" and "typical of the EU"
Further follow up.
Their son (lives in UK, uses house for holidays) called me at lunchtime.
"Is this true what those bastards in Brussels are doing to my parents?, we'll see about that. They have no right right to treat us that way"
My wife has just spoken with the lady of the couple in question.
She is in tears as she has just today realised the full extent of what is going to happen. They had planned on retiring here in about five years when her husband retired but no longer. They will now have to sell
The son has been back on, it seems he will be,
"Taking this to the top" I have no idea what that means.
He's not going to be "pushed around" by 'Brussels' and he's spoken to his friends at work who all agree with him. Seems this is the EU bullying his parents and being vindictive toward British people because they are jealous of Brexit. My only reply was,
"Well ok then"
Received a largely incoherent message from the idiot son via WhatsApp.
Says that my wife and I are 'part of the problem', wants to know what we are doing to help, should have warned his parents, Farage was right, (not sure what about), something about the War, the Empire etc.
Latest Development:
The wife called my wife again. More tears, seems the idiot son has been shouting at his work about this and has been sent home to cool off. Meanwhile they have made the decision to sell the house and have asked if could help with viewings. We have said yes.
O Christ
Another call, this time from the son. He's decided to come over next week and "sort this all out with the Mayor" I tried to explain that it's nothing to do with our Mayor and that this is down to the UK leaving the EU. He said he didn't vote for Brexit to have this
I said he needs to take the time to understand what Brexit means but he will not listen. I told him he will need to wear a mask when here. Surprise, surprise he,
"Doesn't believe in them" I doubt he can get a Channel crossing so he probably will not make it.
Long email from the original couple.
They are very angry. Feel they have been lied to (not sure if they mean me or the UK government) and want "compensation" (again not sure who from). Want me to write a letter confirming they knew nothing about the effects of Brexit.
The icing on the cake has been delivered.
WhatsApp message from the idiot son. He is saying he has a Eurostar crossing for Thursday and will be here late Thursday night after taking the TGV from Paris
He asked if I can collect him from the railway station.
OK although I was tempted to collect him she who must be obeyed has put her Gallic foot down and made me say no.
I have also dropped a text to our Mayor who immediately phoned me roaring with laughter. He has promised a crack team of Gendarmes will be on standby just in case.
That's it for the day. My wife has prepared canard à l'orange and she will be angry if it gets cold.
Good evening.
Brief update as so many asked
The duck was excellent, my wife is a brilliant cook.
I had creme brulee for pudding
The story is true and that is how it happened today
Our dog is now asleep
I promise to update the story as it develops
Idiot son has been drinking.
Just called me via WhatsApp. I am his best friend
SIGH
Overnight update:
An email from the couple once again asking about compensation (from France, the EU, the UK, it's not clear? )
Second email asking to look after their son when he arrives (in the Mafia sense?)
WhatApp message from idiot son reading,
"Hgbyot you & the french"
Excellent Development. A WhatsApp message I had missed from the idiot son.
He has said he will be ...... (drum roll)..... "talking to Nigel Farage about this"
Having read the email in detail over breakfast I can now offer a precis.
They want compensation from someone
They do not know how much they want
They do not know why they should get it
They do not know who should pay it
They do know it's not their fault (for some reason)
Brief WhatsApp message from idiot son.
"Sorry about last night, I'd had a drink"
Is this for me or what else did he do last night ?
New message.
He wants to know if the Mayor could be "squared away with a "good drink" and if he was open to a "deal".
I again said the Mayor is not who he needs and that this is all an EU matter, I suggested he contact Ursula von der Leyen.
He asked if I have her number.
I have spoken to our Mayor's wife (Mayor is out having lunch). She says after knowing him for thirty years he could be probably be corrupted if a date with Vanessa Paradis could be delivered as part of the deal.
I have this morning been inundated with DM's asking me to "prove" this thread. This is my answer to all of you.
If you don't want to believe it, block me, mute me or simply stop reading my tweets. All I have written is true and is still happening. I doubt Thursday will end it
email from the Father
"My son is coming over to sort all this out. We all feel this is very unfair and we have been badly treated. We have paid our taxe d’habitation and we have rights. The French should not be allowed to do this, please help us in our fight to put this right.
The son has confirmed his train. Arrives at Bordeaux Saint-Jean Station 1856 local time on Thursday. He is then hiring a car and will be with us around 9pm.
He will stay at his parents house and has a meeting with the Mayor for 10am Friday morning.
To add a certain je ne sais quoi the Mayor will maintain during the meeting that he speaks only French. I know idiot son only speaks English.
I have offered to attend and "translate"
New message from idiot son.
If all this can be "fixed" on Friday he says he will take my wife and I out for a "bloody good dinner".
I am not sure if it is in the power for a regional French Mayor to fix Brexit but we shall see, he's a bright guy.
New message from the Father. He's asking me to "look after" his son when he's here. This is the second time he's requested this.
It's possible he's asking for the Corleone option.
We have a new character !
I just received a WhatsApp from idiot son's boss asking me to confirm the visit on Thursday and Friday is for "an urgent family matter"
I have not yet replied.
WhatsApp message from idiot son.
"Please tell my boss I have to come to France for urgent family business"
I have now just discovered he works as a tyre fitter.
I have found his facebook page !
I have called his boss and told him the truth, that I am trying to help his parents and that he wants to meet with a French Mayor to try and get an exception for his parents from Brexit. He said,
"He's always been a f*cking spanner"
He's got permission to come
His boss just sent me a message saying,
"If he wants to waste his holiday time on this it's up to him. He's a complete plank if he thinks it will make any difference though, typical"
Hold your breath everyone, he will be here tomorrow.
Sorry, I got over excited. It's Thursday he's coming not tomorrow.
Wife has just told me to,
"Calm down and do some proper work"
Idiot son has sent me a message thanking me for persuading his boss !
He has asked me if there is anything he can bring me from the UK. I've requested HP Sauce.
The Mayor is with us here, he has dropped in for a small apéro. It seems the entire Mayor's office is now following this. He has no idea how they are all going to keep straight faces when 'you know who' turns up on Friday. One lady has switched her day off to be there.
The family have got themselves a lawyer and he's presumably from the Lionel Hutz law school as he has said he sees "no reason" why an individual exception to Brexit rules couldn't be applied to them.
He has asked to call me as the their "local representative".
WhatsApp from idiot son
He's googled the Mayor and seen he is a Rugby fan
Wants to know if Six Nations tickets would "smooth him up"
I have advised idiot son that bribing an official in France is a serious matter. He said,
"The French have always liked a bung, that's how the Channel Tunnel got made.
