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Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 17 Apr 2016, 11:18
by Deegee
This is one for Kiwi.

An Aussie guys wife goes missing while they are diving off the West Coast.

He reports the event to the Police, searches fruitlessly himself, and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.

Next morning there's a knock at the door, and he is confronted by a couple of coppers - the old Sarge and a younger Constable.

The Sarge says, “Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but also some good news and maybe some more good news.”

“Well,” says the bloke, “I guess I'd better have the bad news first.”

The Sarge says, “I'm really sorry, mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her at about 10 metres, trapped in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.”

The bloke is naturally very distressed to hear this and breaks down in tears, absolutely sobbing his heart out.

But after a little while he composes himself, and asks what the good news is.

The Sarge says, “Well when we got your wife up, there were quite a few really good-sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.”

He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or five crabs in it.

“Jeez, thanks! They're bloody beauties mate. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so, what's the other possible good news?”

“Well,” the Sarge says, “If you fancy a quick trip out with us, young Bill and I get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again.”

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 17 Apr 2016, 15:30
by D41
Haha!! Like that!

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 30 Apr 2016, 11:24
by duke63
:D

Image

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 30 Apr 2016, 15:53
by D41
WTF!!? Is that real??

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 30 Apr 2016, 16:01
by Kwacky
(lol)

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 30 Apr 2016, 16:21
by StMarks
Well, I would.! (nod)

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 30 Apr 2016, 16:27
by D41
Kelly kinda looks like that thing on "Tales From The Crypt".

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 30 Apr 2016, 20:28
by duke63
Image

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 03 May 2016, 10:19
by duke63
Image

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 04 May 2016, 08:38
by D6Nutz
Probably been posted before, but made me smile..
.facebook_1462297836086.jpg

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 09 May 2016, 12:39
by Kwacky
A bloke driving a tractor just drove past shouting "the end is nigh, we're all doomed, we're all going to die"

I think it was Farmer Geddon.

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 09 May 2016, 12:46
by kingfixer
^^^^ (facepalm)

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 09 May 2016, 15:32
by Monty

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 09 May 2016, 16:42
by D41
LOLOL!!

The kid has moves!!

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 13 May 2016, 09:45
by Kwacky
My book about Poltergeists has been published.

It's flying off the shelves

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 17 May 2016, 13:09
by Monty
Trousers .jpg

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 17 May 2016, 13:18
by Kwacky
She looks comfortable in there.

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 17 May 2016, 15:30
by D41
Monty wrote:
Trousers .jpg

NO.
FCUKING.
WAY!!!!!

Tell me where you found that pic...where is it sourced from?? This popped up on an MTB forum on SoCal awhile back....maybe two years ago??

That's up on some road connecting two parts of Santiago Oaks Regional Park in Orange/Anaheim Hills....we showed up on MTB's and helped the douchebag on the left pop the car back up after we got the lady out....guy was a bit of a prick...think he was the grandson, or sommit.

That old guy rocks!!

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 17 May 2016, 15:44
by Monty
Facebook (rolf)

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 17 May 2016, 18:17
by D41
LOL!!!

Seriously....the prickish dude was like "Grandpa, how many times have I told you it's time to quit driving?"...The guy didn't even blink... "I just did". I cadged a ciggy off the lass on the right.

What a small world it is.