Work

[Cav]

I don't actually have his email.. I just contacted the company asking for Dez - I believe it got passed on to him.

I'll chase them anyway (Y) thanks

[kiwikrasher]

The hardest part is accepting that it is out of your hands and there is nothing you can do about it.

This is the most important aspect of controlling stress imo. We worry about stuff we have no control over and miss the stuff we do. It’s very hard to get into the ‘let it go’ mindset, and it took me 3 yrs of professional help to get even part way there. But it works.

Put your effort and worry into your sphere of influence. Your health and well-being (exercise, self care, eating hints, drinking habits) your interactions with people, the way you conduct your work. All this other stuff you can’t control and all the stressing about is is wasted energy.

I stressed like hell when I lost my RNZAF career due to the NZ strike force being disbanded. I stressed like hell when I got made redundant from the refinery. It all worked out and I’m doing better than ever work wise. It was all wasted energy.

My field has less than two years life and my company is being bought out atm and I have no idea what is happening for me work wise over the next few years. But I’m qualified and experienced, and it always works out. So I’ve concentrated on letting go and worrying about what I can control.
Occasionally I have minor panic attacks about it all, I breathe, get the physiology under control and remind myself of all the advice I’ve just laid out.

Don’t be scared to seek qualified help mate. It’s not a weakness, view it as ‘training’ and learning new skills.

[Cav]

The people making the decisions on who goes are the Ops Manager and Director.. well this afternoon I had the Ops Manager approach me and call me into an office where the Director was waiting for me. Ops carried on back to his desk and I had an impromptu meeting with the Director.

We had a communications email come out which had lots of holes in the information provided so I emailed back with my questions which then got passed onto HR and then the Director. Simple questions about the process such as "should I remain at my desk" (there are numerous places I work). I also reiterated one of the reasons for requesting redundancy which was stress.

The first thing I noticed was that the Director looked incredibly nervous. He looked very uneasy and I could tell this wasn't natural to him. He was interested in answering my queries but he mostly wanted to see how I was coping. I'll be honest, being asked outright, "how are you coping?" was enough to really shake me.. I was shaking, my voice was shaking and I couldn't maintain eye contact.

I was honest with him, told him that I don't mind whether I stay or go because I can deal with both of those but the purgatory I'm in is hard to cope with. I also was honest (I know he would have seen the list of people with CVs online) about looking for jobs because I'm preparing for the worst; I own a home and i'm the breadwinner. He apologised that he couldn't tell me there and then but did sincerely say that he hopes whatever happens tomorrow helps with my stress and obvious anxiety.

I left the meeting feeling slightly better in all honesty. I now have a clearer picture of what is happening tomorrow with estimated time frames and methods. I also know that if I am made redundant I'm not allowed to return to my desk, I just have to go home. It's rumoured we would be invited to the office Friday afternoon when everyone else has gone home to clear our things.

[Cav]

I'm just off to the pub with a friend and colleague, Kiwi so I apologise but I will read this when I get home.

The Wife is working til late tonight and I don't want to be on my own so organised meeting a friend. I've also had numerous people check in on me and that is really something special.

I don't like how I'm allowing myself to get worked up about it although I will find out tomorrow and hopefully it will put me at ease.

[Kwacky]

I left work today at lunchtime. My boss didn't speak to me all morning then fired 3 quick emails on different cases asking me to review all 3 today. A file review takes anywhere between 3 to 20 hours.

I sent her an email at about 4pm on one file. I did the work I needed to do but made it clear I couldn't do everything she asked.

I got a phone call.

It lasted 10 minutes.

I said my piece. I told her not to email me when I'm sat next to her. I could have dealt with 60% of her emails with a quick discussion. Her excuse for sending emails? She didn't want to disturb me in case I was busy. If she was that concerned about how busy I was why did she tell me to review 3 files in an afternoon? No response.

My review has been brought forward to tomorrow morning.

[Blade]

One more day Cav, one more day buddy and hopefully you get the news you want. Good luck, I hope it works out for you pal

[Cav]

Thanks Kiwi and Blade.

@Kiwi, all of what you said I tell myself daily. I know beyond doubt that I'll work it out and get sorted, it just seems that for now, I'm unable to believe myself.

I've been to the pub with my mate and had a nice drive there and back on all my favourite lanes from back in the 125 smoker days. I feel a bit better for it. Once again I really appreciate all of you guys!

[Cav]

I left work today at lunchtime. My boss didn't speak to me all morning then fired 3 quick emails on different cases asking me to review all 3 today. A file review takes anywhere between 3 to 20 hours.

I sent her an email at about 4pm on one file. I did the work I needed to do but made it clear I couldn't do everything she asked.

I got a phone call.

It lasted 10 minutes.

I said my piece. I told her not to email me when I'm sat next to her. I could have dealt with 60% of her emails with a quick discussion. Her excuse for sending emails? She didn't want to disturb me in case I was busy. If she was that concerned about how busy I was why did she tell me to review 3 files in an afternoon? No response.

My review has been brought forward to tomorrow morning.

Sounds to me like they want to hire a second person if that's the realistic workload they're wanting to achieve... or maybe it's just bad planning on their part.

Let us know how the review meeting goes mate.. fingers crossed it's all good and you're happy with the outcome

[Blade]

I left work today at lunchtime. My boss didn't speak to me all morning then fired 3 quick emails on different cases asking me to review all 3 today. A file review takes anywhere between 3 to 20 hours.

I sent her an email at about 4pm on one file. I did the work I needed to do but made it clear I couldn't do everything she asked.

I got a phone call.

It lasted 10 minutes.

I said my piece. I told her not to email me when I'm sat next to her. I could have dealt with 60% of her emails with a quick discussion. Her excuse for sending emails? She didn't want to disturb me in case I was busy. If she was that concerned about how busy I was why did she tell me to review 3 files in an afternoon? No response.

My review has been brought forward to tomorrow morning.

Not good to hear mate, but sounds like you've been very fair, honest and reasonable, she will struggle to argue with that.

Hope the review goes well. I have a feeling she may have poked the wrong bear

[Blade]

Hopefully you here today Cav and it's good news

[Cav]

Compulsory redundancies completed. Now I wait for my meeting request to hear my verdict.

I feel WAY less stressed today.. most of the waiting is over.

Some high up managers have been booted but no one at my level has yet.

[Blade]

What would be the ideal outcome?

[Cav]

Looking at it without emotion, being booted would be beneficial. I wouldn't need to pay back Uni fees, I get 5 months pay, any job I go to will be higher paid.

If I stay, nothing really changes and I'm still in a job I don't enjoy but at least I have security.

[Kwacky]

I'm still waiting to go into my 9am meeting ...

[Cav]

Jesus.. how haven't you left the company yet?!

[StMarks]

I'm entirely the wrong person to be advising on this, so I've stayed out mostly.
But...
There are some observations I would like to offer.:

''If I stay, nothing really changes and I'm still in a job I don't enjoy but at least I have security.

Or perhaps ;

...Some high up managers have been booted but no one at my level has yet.

The executive has decided to make a radical shake-up, and cleared out some of their perceived "dead wood" to make way for enthusiastic & free minded replacements.?

As for the stress & worry aspect you guys have identified, easy to advise to receive but inherently difficult to follow.:

"Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum". - Baz Luhrmann

Imho worrying about things may well be (mainly) useless, however it identifies you as human & having a caring nature within. Those individuals I have met who have been less susceptible to stress & worry have be inversely proportionate in characteristics of empathy & understanding. Psychopaths don't worry.
So whilst you may find it debilitating, teaching yourself to "accept what you can't control" & living with it, must be far preferable to not being a worrier.?

I'm still waiting to go into my 9am meeting ...

Perhaps they're struggling to figure out a strategy.? -I bet they're scared at the prospect mate.

Good luck all of you.

[D41]

I'm still waiting to go into my 9am meeting ...

Shoot them an email asking what's the holdup.

[Blade]

I'm still waiting to go into my 9am meeting ...

Shoot them

Maybe more how Kwacky is feeling

[Perkles]

have a wank it solves everything

[Cav]

You aren't wrong Perks!



I've had my request for redundancy accepted and honestly, the stress relief is crazy. I signed my redundancy letter and now wait to here from HR regarding requirements from me. I've been asked to work some of my notice period which I'm fine with (handovers, etc) as I don't wish to burn bridges.

Thank you all so much and I do apologise for my ranting at times. Now it's time to pick up my application game even further!