Tank Slap - Motorcycle Forum

She's clearly off her face on something. You don't threaten to take your ultimate form unless you're high.

Yeah..I was thinking the very same thing.

Even when I've been smashed, chicken nuggets aren't THAT good!!

[video]https://www.facebook.com/viralthread/vi ... 593091260/[/video]

That kid rocks!!!


Even the dog was getting in on the action when it heard 'bacon'.

Trump's first wife is writing a book......


"Raising Trump".


Not a joke, BTW.

This is a message convo from 2 of Jess' work mates the guy being the Store Manager

Keeping it on topic...

OOF!!!

He's alive and lives in Buxton!

That's probably his top speed.

Did you zoom in?

good one

Jeremy Hunt was doing an annual visit to a NHS hospital. As always he was looking for something to beat the NHS with to show how badly run and loss making things were.

While Hunt was checking the books, he turned to the executive of the hospital and said “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the middle of the roll ?"

"Good question," noted the executive. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll. We recycle whenever possible"

"Oh," replied Hunt,, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. “What about all these coloured casts you dispense. Isn't it rather a waste of money?"

"Ah, yes," replied the executive, realizing that Hunt was trying to trap him. "We ask that any patient wishing a coloured cast donates £1 which is far in excess of the 10p the colouring actually costs."

Hunt asked a dozen or more questions with similar results. he was determined to fluster the know-it-all executive.

"Well, What do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the executive. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to government, and about once a year, at this time, they send us a complete prick."

It was the second lap and I could feel the tyres moving…..
I didn’t give my tyres a chance to warm up…..

I was pushing the front…..
I went in too fast and scared myself stupid…..

I felt the back wheel break out…..
I’m either Mick Doohan or, foolish with the throttle or just incredibly cack-handed with the throttle…..

Of course two-strokes/600s/V-Twins have a big advantage here…..
I’m so far up my own bum, I can’t accept the guy was a better rider and must blame it on my bike…..

I was braking so hard the forks bottomed right out…..
I grabbed such a big handful of brake that I had to pick my teeth out of the clocks…..

The front wheel was leaving the ground all the way out of…..
I don’t know about throttle control and weight distribution…..

But I had him on the straight…..
I have to rely on my bikes superior speed to do my overtaking…..

I clipped the apex too early…..
I panic-braked…..

I was holding it up on my knee all the way round the corner…..
I turned in so late I bottomed everything out and really thought I was about to die…..

So I overtook this R1, then lined up to pass the Blade…..
I’m David Jefferies OR there were these two great bikes being ridden by grannies…..

I tried an extra 5mph, but I ended up in the gravel…..
I forgot which corner I was on and fell off…..

I reached the end of my bikes performance envelope…..
My bike reached the end of my performance envelope…..

I didn’t want to crash so I gave him some room…..
There was no way I could stay with him so I had to let him go…..

He left me on the straight…..
He got the power on so much earlier than I did…..

I went through the box on the back wheel…..
I let the clutch out so fast I nearly wet myself…..

I ride so hard I grind the fairing out…..
I’m fat…..

I ride so hard I grind the crankcase out…..
I’m really fat…..

I nearly had him…..
He left me for dead…..

I've tuned the crotch out of it…..
It’s got a Dynojet kit…..

People tell me I should go racing…..
People know I’m a liability on the road and want me out of the way…..

Stand-up wheelies take a little longer to perfect…..
I’m still learning to slip the clutch…..

I learnt a lot from off-roading…..
I filled my pant off-roading…..

It sips a little oil…..
The engine’s had it…..

I see 200mph on the clocks all the time on the road…..
The speedo’s had it…..

I’m well on the pace round here…..
Only another 25 seconds and the lap record’s mine…..

I’ve really chewed the tyres up…..
There are a few bobbles an inch away from the edges…..

I wear my left knee sliders out at a terrific rate…..
I’m always swapping them over on roundabouts…..

It’s a real mans bike…..
I can’t handle it…..

It’s a bit of a girls bike…..
I can just about handle it…..