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Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 30 Oct 2023, 22:04
by StMarks
I'm currently reading an excellent book about the of the development of lubricants during the history of motoring.
It's really fascinating, probably the best & most entertaining read I have come across that is non-friction. (nod)

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 31 Oct 2023, 20:23
by kiwikrasher
StMarks wrote: 30 Oct 2023, 22:04 I'm currently reading an excellent book about the of the development of lubricants during the history of motoring.
It's really fascinating, probably the best & most entertaining read I have come across that is non-friction. (nod)
That took me way too long 😂

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 31 Oct 2023, 23:23
by Stonesie
It's a slippery slope in the non-friction section

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 01 Nov 2023, 08:54
by StMarks
Stonesie wrote: 31 Oct 2023, 23:23 It's a slippery slope in the non-friction section
(nod) Many older ones are really dirty too, aren't they,, (happy)

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 01 Nov 2023, 11:44
by D41
I used to work in an Italian restaurant...

Me: "Would you like some olive oil for your bread??"
Customer: "Is it extra virgin?"
Me: (tearing up) "No, it's the same price."

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 01 Nov 2023, 18:29
by D41
I walked into the bedroom last night naked, covered head-to-toe in baby oil, and gave my wife a meaningful wink. ;)
She looked at me in shock and yelled "What the hell are you doing??"

Me..."Well, you're always saying that I never....glisten"

Wife..."LISTEN!....I said you never LISTEN!!"

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 08 Nov 2023, 10:49
by StMarks
Image




Imho it's actually always been the case, there are those who will "get on with it", and "all those others",,,

StM mobile using Tapatalk

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 08 Nov 2023, 17:53
by StMarks
Viagra - It may not make you James Bond, but perhaps Rodger Moore (smirk)

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 10 Nov 2023, 18:49
by D41
Luke..."What's for dinner tonight?"
Vader.."Wookie steak!!"
Luke..."What's it like?"
Vader.."It's a little chewy."

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 13 Nov 2023, 19:34
by D6Nutz
.Image

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Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 22 Nov 2023, 21:52
by StMarks
Have you heard about the fat alcoholic transvestite..: All he wanted was to eat, drink and be Mary.

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 23 Nov 2023, 11:23
by kiwikrasher
I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day

It was crawling in pussy

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 23 Nov 2023, 13:15
by Cav
kiwikrasher wrote: 23 Nov 2023, 11:23 I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day

It was crawling in pussy
Bloody brilliant! 😂 👏

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 24 Nov 2023, 21:48
by StMarks
Cream buns all round....
Image

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Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 03 Dec 2023, 18:26
by duke63
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Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 04 Dec 2023, 23:38
by StMarks
(sweat) Sorry , but I'm afraid I simply don't understand ^ that one ??

Anyway, this is more down at my level.:

Fur Lined Gloves

A young man called James from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend.

They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland .

James consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note... not too romantic and not too personal.

Off he went with his sister to Harrods and they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister chose a pair of sexy knickers for herself at the same time..

Harrods had a free gift wrap offer but (predictably) the assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and James
unknowingly got the knickers.!

Good old James sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter:

Dear Maggie,

I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones (which are easier to remove).

These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and I hardly noticed any marks.

I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them.

I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing.

Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year.

I hope you will wear them for me on our next date.

All my love,

James

P.S My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing.

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 05 Dec 2023, 21:07
by Stonesie
403728703_10163120206137784_8877284906852058063_n.jpg

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 16 Dec 2023, 21:33
by StMarks
Not "a joke" as such, but fwiw it the tears rolling down my cheeks...

https://twitter.com/PicturesFoIder/stat ... 6242334146

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 22 Dec 2023, 20:13
by Stonesie
Screenshot_2023-12-18-16-52-21-12_a23b203fd3aafc6dcb84e438dda678b6.jpg

Re: Joke of the day

Posted: 22 Dec 2023, 23:10
by StMarks
Stonesie wrote: 22 Dec 2023, 20:13 .jpg
Ok Stonsie,,,,,, I'll take your pussy and raise you one all black German Shepherd called Kiera who finds the darkest places to (literally) lay in wait & become an ever present trip hazzard.. (doh)

Image

(Obviously she's a bigger hazzard these days)