Twit of the day

[Blade]

Oh and if you did want to upgrade the curry's sale is quite good

I say upgrade as the current model is not in desperate need of replacement now the window is operational.

[kiwikrasher]

Oh and if you did want to upgrade the curry's sale is quite good

I say upgrade as the current model is not in desperate need of replacement now the window is operational.

Yeah, but he might need his NBC kit on to operate it!!

[Itchy]

At least the missus might stop moaning about cold feet!
It was her slippers she was warming up in there (special microwaveable ones because her feet seem to be made of permafrost).

[Blade]

Oh and if you did want to upgrade the curry's sale is quite good

I say upgrade as the current model is not in desperate need of replacement now the window is operational.

Yeah, but he might need his NBC kit on to operate it!!

Gaffer tape will fix that

[Rossgo]

Think I take the crown today...


So, I heard the missus flapping in the kitchen. Ran through to find her unable to stop the microwave by opening the door. I switch it off at the plug, back on again, still going, off it goes again.

The door button has been sticking for a while. It now seems to have given up the ghost. So, as a technician I assess the best options to overcome this particular problem, using all known methods, equipment & reasoning.
However as a Yorkshire lad born in the 70s and growing up in the 80s, if my father taught me anything it's that if something mechanical isn't working it will sort itself out if you give it a good whack.

IMG_20161228_183155.jpg

I can look at it two ways.

Technician version: Technology has moved on and cannot be solved by implementing violence

Yorkshire version: They don't build them like they used to.

As I pick the glass out of my hand I'll ponder...

cracked me up. Well in!!

[D41]

Time out!!!


WTF are 'microwaveable slippers'???? Are you serious??

[Blade]

Time out!!!


WTF are 'microwaveable slippers'???? Are you serious??

Wild stab in the dark but going to suggest Slippers you warm in the microwave

[D41]

Well yeah...I get that part, I'm just amazed that anyone would want to heat up something they put on their feet in the same place as something they eat/drink....

[Blade]

There not edible slippers

[D41]

No kidding, Mr Holmes....but why would anyone want to combine the two things in the same area....??

It'd be like wiping down a cutting board with a pair of undies....it's just not something that you'd do.

[Blade]

I don't think you should put the undies in the microwave tbh, but it's up to you.

[D41]

You're thinking of edible panties.


And while we're on, which fcuking rocket scientist came up with THAT idea....?

[Itchy]

No kidding, Mr Holmes....but why would anyone want to combine the two things in the same area....??

It'd be like wiping down a cutting board with a pair of undies....it's just not something that you'd do.

Never washed your knob in the sink then?

[D41]

I get my serving wenches to wash the royal penis.

[Kwacky]

Me

Dipped my head under the barbell for my squats and got it wrong, twatted the top of my head off the bar.

[Blade]

Did people see you and you have to pretend it didnt hurt its sh1t when that happens

[Kwacky]

I didn't look round, I carried on as if nothing happened, while the top of my head throbbed