Joke of the day

[Kwacky]

True story

[duke63]

https://newsthump.com/2022/09/05/its-po ... -minister/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[StMarks]

https://newsthump.com/2022/09/05/its-po ... -minister/

Fwiw the linked article (bottom of your page) made me laugh more mate.: https://newsthump.com/2022/04/20/vladim ... -sue-gray/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Perkles]

“She will be the only world leader who could go and sit with President Biden and bring the average brain power in the room down."
I had to turn the radio off yesterday I was cringing at her speech

[StMarks]

.....I had to turn the radio off yesterday I was cringing at her speech

I heard someone on the radio discussing her. He described her as being like the "very average" only daughter, who was constantly praised by her parents for everything they did despite the rest of the world confronting her with the truth.
And now she has the top job, and it is like now she has had all her fathers unfounded praises justified "You see, I really AM the bestist. so, now you will listen to me,,,,,,"

[duke63]

Can’t help thinking she is the scapegoat for Johnson and his cronies to try and re take power at some point.

[StMarks]

Can’t help thinking she is the scapegoat for Johnson and his cronies to try and re take power at some point.

Please can I assure you that you are not alone with that thought mate.

[StMarks]

To get us back on track...

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's bloomin'well pouring with rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
"I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk..

[D6Nutz]

A pensioner drove his brand new BMW to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 155, ... Suddenly he thought,

"I'm too old for this nonsense !"

So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said,

"Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before, why you were speeding... I'll let you go."

The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :-

"Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!

The Cop left saying,

" Have a good day, Sir "...



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[Cav]

[StMarks]

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[Stonesie]

[kiwikrasher]

[Stonesie]

IMG_20220925_173634.jpg (72.8 KiB) Viewed 1427 times

[duke63]

I have a joke about trickledown economics but I'm afraid most people won't get it!

[StMarks]

I have a joke about trickledown economics but I'm afraid most people won't get it!

Lol.

Actually, as I understand it the theory is quite simple when explained in a basic & understandable way.:

For example.; You see a homeless couple sheltering against the cold in a shop doorway.
So you take a £20 note,,,,
,,,then drive to the most upmarket suburb, then select a well maintained house with al least 2 cars in the driveway, and you post the £20 note in the letterbox. That way you know that the money will trickle down & benefit that homeless couple.
Simple, isn't it.?






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[duke63]

[StMarks]

Reflection of our changing society.?





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[Cav]

I think I've seen the 2nd from the left wearing a dressing gown in Asda at 17:45

[D41]

Far right is definitely Barbie The Tranny.