Tank Slap - Motorcycle Forum

Forty gypsies arrive at the Pearly Gates in their Transit vans and caravans.

St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying: 'I've got 40 travellers here. Can I let them in?'

God replies 'We are over our quota on travellers. Go back out to the Pearly Gates and tell them to choose among them which are the 12 most worthy, and I will let just the dozen in.'

Less than a minute later St Peter is on the phone to God again. 'They've gone', he tells God.

'What?' says God, 'All 40 of them?'

'No, the F#@king Gates...'

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxU-cQvmi-k[/video]

An Israeli Sense of Humor at UN set the record straight.

A representative from Israel began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath!'
Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.
When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished.
A Palestinian had stolen them!

The Palestinian representative at the UN jumped up furiously and shouted,
'What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren't there then.'
The Israeli representative smiled and said,
'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech..'.

What the hell is that?

Not very pc but:

I don't do football but that did make me lol.

.

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.

What do Brazil and Bonnie Tyler have in common?





Every now and then they fall apart.

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D1Tted-R0g[/video]

A fella went to the Doctor for his yearly check up.....,

As he was finishing up, the Doc says, "you're in pretty good shape, is there anything worrying you?"

He said, "Doctor I have this odd problem with flatulence , but its nothing really serious, but maybe you could shed some light on it. My farts never smell and are always silent, even the really nasty next day after an egg curry farts. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 15 or 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and they're silent."

The Doctor says, "I see, right, take this prescription and come back to see me next week."

The next week, he went back. "Doctor," he said, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts...although they're still silent...they stink terribly."

The Doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."